This is why we need a baby

Yes, that's a baby swing. And, yes, that's a kitten in it.



I'd say it's time for a baby, wouldn't you?

Good guess!

At the gym here in Pleasantville, there are definitely some regulars. Since I'm definitely one of the regulars, there's a group of a couple dozen people that I see there pretty frequently.

The other day at the gym, I ran into a man that I'd seen there multiple times. I'd occasionally make small talk with him, and, on that particular day, after saying, "Hi," he looked down at my belly and said, "Five and a half months!"

To which I replied, "Great memory! Wait...did I even tell you that?"

He responded, "No, you didn't tell me. I did one of my residency rotations in obstetrics."

He'd guessed how far along I was. To the day. It was crazy. My husband pointed out that it was somewhat coincidental, but still.

It makes me feel good that he didn't guess that I'm seven or eight months along, that's for sure.

25 weeks 2 days

Almost to double digits! As of today, I only have 103 days left to go in this pregnancy. Here's the picture from this week:



I'm still feeling pretty good, which makes me happy. In just the last few days, rolling over in bed has gotten a bit uncomfortable, and I'm feeling constant pressure right under my rib cage. I feel like I want to raise my hands over my head all the time - like I need to stretch out my stomach. I'm sure that feeling is only going to get worse over the coming months. It hasn't been too bad yet, though, so I shouldn't complain.

I'm still working out, still wearing heels. For some reason, those are the barometers I'm using to gauge how "normal" I am. As long as I can do those things, then I think I'm doing well.

Crossing things off the list(s)

Slowly, we're crossing things off of our "To Do Before Baby" and "To Buy Before Baby" lists, but it's still a bit overwhelming. There's a lot to do! And a lot to buy still!

From the "To Do Before Baby" list, we still have to do are finish the wills and powers of attorney that we're having drafted, and we have to get my husband life insurance. The hardest piece of those has been locating a reasonably-priced attorney for the wills and powers of attorney. The first price quote I got was outrageous, but we ended up finding another lawyer who can do it for much less. Since we don't really have much in terms of an estate (and nothing we own is complicated), we can get all of the proper documents drafted, notarized, etc. for just a few hundred dollars.

The process with the attorney has led to another thing we need to do, though: Figure out how to get my husband access to my retirement accounts in the event I'm incapacitated. If I die, they automatically go to him. If I'm in a coma, though, the situation is much more complicated. I have retirement accounts with two companies. One of these will accept a power of attorney (although they ask that you send it in to them in advance), whereas the other requires that I add my husband as a "delegate" to my account. Two very different situations that have to be managed differently.

From the "To Buy Before Baby" list, nearly everything centers around the nursery. We still need to get a dresser, and maybe a lamp or two. And some wall art. We're getting here in this category, too.

The complicating factor with the "To Buy" list is that it's nearly impossible to get everything from one place, so we're running around buying things from different websites, stores, etc. For example, the crib mattress that we already bought is not sold in Babies R Us or Target - we had to order it online. We're going to be getting the dresser from Amazon by using some of our credit card gift certificates. My health insurance covers a breast pump, and I can get it with a discount if I buy it through work. The baby wrap that I want is actually only made in New Zealand (you can read about them here), and the only place I've found to buy them here in the US is at a specific online store. If we still lived in a big city, there would likely be a specialty baby store that would sell these types of wraps (they're actually pretty well-known), but, here in Pleasantville, the best option seems to be to buy them online. I wish I could see the wrap before I buy it, but I guess I'll just have to trust that it'll be fine.

The last big thing we need to get is huge: A new car for me. I've decided on this one:



It's an Infiniti G37 sedan. My car is in great shape (it's a 2004 and has a little over 100,000 miles on it). I can't believe I've kept it this long, and I'd keep it for another 5 years if I could. Unfortunately, it's a 2-door, and a small one at that. If we really couldn't afford a new car, we'd keep it and make due. But, a new car is something I really should get. I'm trying to wait until the spring, though, because I suspect that the car I buy is going to come with summer tires. I don't want to have to buy the car AND new tires and rims at the same time - I'd rather spread the pain out a bit.

Wow, that turned into a pretty long post, and it's a little overwhelming to see all of that stuff all written out. We'll get there, though!

24 weeks (and happy V-Day!)

Today is a big milestone - 24 weeks of pregnancy. As I've mentioned before, this day is sometimes called V-Day (for "Viability Day"), because the earliest of the early micropremies CAN sometimes survive if born at this point. It isn't a certainty by any means, though. I talked about this milestone here. In the time since I wrote that post, I've learned that the little girl who I mentioned as having passed away just before 24 weeks was actually born at exactly 24 weeks of gestation. As I said, it's far from certain that a baby born this early would survive - less than 40% from the research I've done. It isn't until 27 weeks that the survival rate hits 90%, so perhaps that's a better milestone.

All that scary stuff aside, I have to remember that I haven't had any complications. My cervix looked great at my anatomy scan, and I have no reason to believe the rest of the pregnancy won't go well, too. In some ways, you HAVE to be in denial about all of the potential complications of pregnancy, or you'd psych yourself out of every having a child. Things have gone well so far, and I have to assume it's going to continue to go well.

Here's this week's picture:



I'm still feeling great. I still go to the gym five days a week, and I'm still lifting weights on four of those days. Both the midwives and the OB have said that I can continue my gym routine, so I have been (with a few modifications). I had a little bit of a rough time earlier this week, though. I don't fit in one of the glute machines anymore, so I decided to switch to lunges. It's been YEARS since I've done lunges, and I was SO SORE after doing them that first time. And, I couldn't take any Advil for it, which made it worse. I suffered through it, and I've done lunges a couple of times since. I haven't been sore again, so it just took one session of lunges for my body to get used to the new exercise.

I'm also still wearing high heels at work, which has elicited a bunch of comments. Why wouldn't I wear them still? Supposedly, your balance is thrown off during pregnancy. Anyone who knows me in real life, though, will attest to my clumsiness and complete lack of balance when I'm NOT pregnant. It hasn't really gotten worse since I've been pregnant. Besides, I have to wear boots to the office because of the snow, so I'm really only wearing them while I'm in the building. Plus, I sit at a desk all day. My pants are hemmed to the length of high heels (even my maternity pants), and I'm really really hoping I don't have to re-hem them all for flats.

All in all, things are going great!

The challenges of being a daddy

One of the things that I'm most excited about with having a baby is the chance to see my husband as a daddy. I've known from very early on in our relationship that my husband will be an AMAZING father. He has unending patience and is really willing to do all of the fun and not-so-fun parts of being a parent. In fact, he is going to be a stay-at-home dad, which is relatively common of fathers at the company where I work. While it's nowhere near as stay-at-home moms, there are plenty of dads who stay home with their kids at this company.

The part that makes me sad, though, is the total lack of support the greater society gives to dads in general, and especially to stay-at-home dads. For example:

1) Very few baby products address the needs of fathers. As an example, we were lucky enough to receive a high chair for Christmas (thanks Grandma!). On the box, there was a list of features "For Baby" and a list of features "For Mom." Why couldn't it say "For Parents"? It's like dads don't matter.

2) Dads don't get a vote in decision-making with child choices. We've decided to donate our child's cord blood to a public bank. In order to do this, you need to call the cord bank and request a collection kit. My husband called today, and THEY WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO HIM. I have to call. I'm still furious about this one.

3) When moms take care of their kids, it's parenting. When dads take care of their kids, it's "babysitting."

4) At many restaurants, there is a changing table in the women's restroom, but there isn't one in the men's restroom. In those situations, I suggested to my husband that he change the baby on one of the tables in the restaurant. His idea was to look around the restaurant for a baby with a clean diaper, and swap them.

5) When I tell people we're having a boy, one of the responses I get is "Oh, your husband must be so happy!" While it's certainly true that he's thrilled, he also would have been thrilled if it were a girl. He's just happy we're having a healthy child.

6) Dad's are regularly disinvited from playgroups. That is, if a group of moms gets together to have their kids play together, dads are discouraged from attending. In fact, they're often specifically told not to come.

I realize that I'm lucky to have such an involved husband, but I also know that he's far from the only one. Why isn't there more support out there for dads?

Unbelievable. I guess I'm just in a feminist mood this evening.

24 week appointment

I had another regularly-scheduled doctor's appointment today, and it pretty much coincided with my 24th week of pregnancy. Everything looked good. I'm measuring right on track, and baby's heart rate was about 140 bpm. My blood pressure was good, too - 110/62. I had a bunch of questions for the midwife, and she was absolutely awesome about answering them.

I've been SO happy with our decision to go with midwives for the delivery of the baby. Their attitude about birth is exactly aligned with mine - birth is NOT an emergency in nearly all cases, so there's no reason for a ton of intervention that may not be necessary. The hospital we've chosen has a great NICU if something goes wrong, but, in the highly likely situation where things progress normally, the midwives will be able to help deliver the baby.

The other crazy thing is that it's really sinking in how far along I am in this pregnancy. I've scheduled my next appointment for about 3 weeks from now, and, after that, I start going in for biweekly appointments. Why? Because I'll be in the THIRD TRIMESTER. I can't believe how fast things are going. Our new baby boy will be here in just a few months, and I feel like there are so many things to do in the meantime. Oh well - we'll get there. Everyone does.

23 weeks and 1 day!

I've been pretty lax in posting belly pictures lately. I blame the holidays. In any case, here's the latest one that was taken today - it's at 23 weeks and 1 day.



When I see that picture, my thought is, "Wow, am I really that big?" I don't feel as big as I apparently look. I'm up about 18 pounds, which is pretty much on track. I've basically come to terms with the idea that I'm going to be gaining on the high end (35 pounds) rather than the minimum of 25 pounds. That's okay. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

I'm feeling good, for the most part. I'm comfortable when I sit and comfortable when I stand, but it's starting to get a little uncomfortable to switch between the two. Standing up after sitting for awhile can be a little painful, but not too bad. I still think I've been really lucky.

I'm still going to the gym all the time (5x a week, although it was disrupted a bit because of the holidays). I'm still lifting weights, too, although I've had to make some modifications because of my belly. I actually have found that I have a lot of energy now, which I've been using to reorganize the house and get in some long workouts. I'm not sure how long this energy is going to last.

I did have a bit of a milestone yesterday. While cooking, I dropped some food. It missed my chest and landed on my belly. That's definitely new. It's the little things, I guess...